The Hollow Success No One Warned Us About

We used to imagine dream houses, perfect partners, kids who adored us. We picked careers out of thin air and laughed about how it might all play out.

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And yet here you are: with the career, with the house, maybe even with the partner and the kids… and it still feels hollow.

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Because no one told you success on paper can’t fill the silence inside your chest.

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Some of you are  the first born daughters who never got our emotional needs met, who learned to control everything because no one ever made you feel safe. You boarded up your  magic to survive, and now motherhood or marriage or just the sheer weight of life cracked the boards wide open.

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By becoming hyper-competent, hyper-responsible, hyper-independent, you started to boss-baby your way out of pain likely without knowing that emotion is IN MOTION and when we cut ourselves off from emotions it can cause physical, emotional and mental disease. (A great resource on this is the work of Peter Lavigne or Bessel van der Kolk)

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There is a way to navigate family patterns and impossible expectations that helps you step away from being the woman who kept trying to do it all “right”. There is a version of you that feels support, is direct in what she needs and learns to love your partner, your family and your life as deeply as she did when she journaled for hours in her room alone as a teen. (I know you only stopped writing your dreams down to tape your favorite song on the radio…I’ve been there too).

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In my world, we do not just understand your past, we work on creating sanity systems, tools for loving your partner without mothering him, and maybe even some laughter on the way back home to yourself.