A year with Be.

Be. 

As we wrap up 2019 and begin 2020 I wanted to take some time to call myself out and share with you why sometimes Be. is well connected and why other times Be. seems almost dormant. When I opened my doors to the public in April of 2019 I had a “plan” and a vision for my company. I set lofty goals, I started networking with some women-owned business that I admire and hoped to support through referring my own clients to their business. I was ready to go big. 

Then in late May, I found out that I was pregnant. A baby business and a baby? Ok- we are doing this I thought. I will grow both. I was always told that it would take me years to get pregnant as I struggle with some chronic health issues. However, I was told wrong or life had another plan. The first trimester was truly challenging. I was sick all the time and had enough energy to show up for my clients, hold space for them and then find my way back to my couch. 

This was not my plan. 

The second trimester was “easier” though that is when we learned of the complications. The uncertainty around my bodies ability to safely birth this child. The idea that to ensure the safety of the child my birth plan will not look anything like I had originally dreamed.  I started to work with my own therapist around the idea and reality of uncertainty, letting go and talking about mortality. In this time period that is marketed as magical, hopeful and filled with joy. I was faced with impermanence. 

Here we are a few weeks away from the birth of my child and am still holding space for my clients. I am able to do more than go from my office to the couch, I am certainly not where I thought I would be at this point. Still I have been creating a plan for my maternity leave and ensuring that my clients have proper coverage while I am away. 

Here I sit, wanting to bring you a detailed plan for what will happen during my maternity leave and what Be. will look like upon my return. I sit here wanting to fill you with hope, post fancy sayings that remind you of life. I want to give you quick fixes and life hacks because if I did that Be. would be more mainstream. Be. would fit this easy business model. 

Then I ask myself one of my favorite questions to ask my client: “ What is the most honest thing you can tell yourself?”. The most honest thing I can tell you is Be. is not cookie cutter. Be. is a place for the messy. It is admitting my mistakes and holding the space for women and new mamma’s to mess up, break free from perfectionism and show up no matter what. 

My plan is to have a series of blog posts ready to go while I am on maternity leave. I see it as letters to my ideal clients, insights and real talk about things that we all struggle with day to day. Content that you can have while I am away. This is my plan and here is what I know to be true: life always has other plans.